Landing back home after a teaching trip fills me with joy as I feel the welcoming ‘hug’ of Maui. I savor the time and space to settle back into life here and to notice what is new in my perceptions, my system, my body and my awareness.
Each Retreat holds full days of diving deeply into the listening, navigation and presence of Ke Ala Hōkū, The Pathway to The Stars. Unconscious and subconscious patterns are stirred, forgotten fears remembered, and unresolved trauma revealed. As we move in new ways through the embodiment practices of the work, we unlock a crucible of resonance in our Being, that can hold, and transmute what arises. If we are able to say YES to the sometimes difficult process of meeting parts of ourselves that are crying out for attention, we come into a new relationship with these parts. We experience a kind of cellular Ho’oponopono, in which more and more of our unresolved internal ‘ohana (family), can come to rest in us in harmony.
So the integration for each retreat experience is a potent time, where I get to experience a new balance in my system, new sources of nourishment and new horizons in my perceptive field. My favorite part of being in this space, is the surprise.
Recently back from a Retreat in Europe, I landed back to the warm welcome of Maui Island, and spent time settling in to my life at home. Most days, if my schedule allows, I like to head early to the beach do my morning movement practice, and, with permission from the Ocean, swim. On my third day back, I took the familiar trip to my favorite beach. After completing an easy movement practice, I asked permission, as usual, to go into the Ocean. Fortunately, this day, she was graciously inviting.
Entering the water, however, something was very different. I did not feel the sensation of liquid on my skin. Nor was there a change in temperature, no movement of current, and no texture. This odd feeling continued as I swam. I could feel absolutely no resistance in the water — though it was clearly a lively ocean with lots of waves. Swimming in one direction is usually a bit easier as I swim with the current, but when I turn around to go the other way, there is usually a marked difference in the waters resistance. This day, however, there was no difference.
I felt very attentive to the feeling in my skin, particularly, and, to my amazement, I felt as if I was surrounded only by air. I did feel more buoyant than on land, and at times felt the movement of ‘bubbles’ on my skin. Meeting no resistance in the water, my muscles felt incredibly strong. It was both a completely foreign and completely comfortable experience.
Without my eyes telling me differently, I would have said that either my body disappeared that day, or the ocean had, even though both were clearly in my field of vision.
Coming out of the water, I again felt no difference in temperature or sensation between the water and air. In over 30 years of swimming in the Maui Ocean, I have loved the fact that each time is different. I have experienced the colors, shapes of the waves, temperatures, currents, and feelings touched in me, in a wide variety of ways — many delightfully surprising. However I had never experienced anything even close to this.
I can’t say with any certainty what transpired that day, but since the work has so much to do with our Cellular Being, I will guess that it was part of my integration. The only lingering thought I’ve had about it, is a wondering: Is it a possibility that somehow, my frequency and the frequency of the Ocean matched each other exactly that day at that time?
Perhaps my body did not feel a ‘meeting’ because there was nothing to meet? Perhaps I got to experience the gift of the Ocean and I disappearing into each other, one and the same.