Lately, I’ve been noticing the subtle echoes of my childhood conditioning: the habit of placing my attention only on "Point A" and "Point B."
Growing up, I was taught to focus on where I am and where I am going. There was very little room for the space in between. That "middle space" was treated as an insignificant blur—something to be endured or hurried through to reach what really mattered: the goal or end point.
Learning this type of navigation was emotionally loaded. Completing the task or achieving the goal usually meant winning the approval of others, becoming more admired and valued. IOver time, I came to believe that love was a reward for achievement.
Through Kahu, I discovered the idea of resting in the 'in-between spaces'. It was confusing to say the least. For a long time, I understood the idea but wasn't able to actually experience it. I was stuck in my head, mistaking recognition for realization. Even now, after years of practice, I still find new opportunities to settle into these micro-moments where no goal is in sight.
As my quality of attention changes, so does the quality of my movement, thought and breath. Every moment becomes a moment of arrival.
What lives in the in-between moments? Infinite possibility. When I am no longer on my way somewhere (at least in my mind), I am available to see and feel so much more. When 'the goal' is not filling my awareness, I have more space to be informed by The Mystery and discover new ways of seeing & being.
Walking on the beach a few mornings ago, I suddenly felt I was skipping over something foundational. After a few moments in an open attention, I realized it was my walking. Although my mind had come to a kind of peace, thinking it was fully here in the moment, I realized that I was unconsciously focused on the goal of completing my walk. I was missing the journey.
As my attention shifted, it was as if the whole world opened up. I noticed so much with my eyes, ears and skin that I was not noticing before. My peripheral vision in all directions widened and it seemed like I was walking in a much bigger space. The beach was bigger. The sky was wider. The sound of the waves seemed much more full — like there were many notes instead of one note in it's transcendent song. My weight had changed to an effortless gliding into the middle of each step and I noticed now the varying temperatures and textures landing in my feet.
Essentially, it became a completely different experience, filled with more than I imagined could be there all at once. Every moment was overflowing with more and more Life. By the end of the walk, I was in a fullness that had expanded with each step.
Sometimes, for one reason or another, we are not able to drop into such an expanded attention. But I believe there are many more opportunities than we may think! These in-between moments are waiting for us to discover them. All we need to do is detach a little bit from the goal and allow ourselves to land in the Eternal Now.
As you move through your day today, I invite you to notice one 'in-between' moment. Perhaps it’s the walk to your car, the time spent waiting for water to boil, or the space between two breaths. What do you find there when the goal is set aside? I’d love to hear what you discover.
